Ma Koreh Anashim!

From the far east to the middle, from Mount Fuji to our own "Hill of Spring", Avy is back by popular demand, as some of you jokers somehow got the impression that i'm here to amuse you. Well I'm still jobless! D'you think that's funny?

And until such time as some poor soul reluctantly agrees to employ me, I'm on unemployment benefit and on the loose in Tel-Aviv, seeking out creative and interesting alternatives to doing absolutely bugger-all, not including, of course, presenting myself at the unemployment office every Thursday morning; well it's a reason to get out of bed I suppose.

So for the purposes of providing you with some light entertainment my dear, loyal followers, in the coming weeks - maybe even months, who knows - I'm gonna try and milk Tel-Aviv for all it's worth at as little cost as is humanly possible. What? Did you think I'm a Frier or something?
It's gonna be Achla-Sababa and Haval al ha zman!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Jabotinsky

Vladimir Ze'ev Jabotinsky is another big name in Israel's hall of fame with many a street named after him, a right-wing extremist to some, a Zionist hero to others. Well, in order to separate fact from fiction and help me to form my own opinion of the man, I decided to pay a visit to the Jabotinsky Institute on King George Street.

A talented poet and writer from his youth, Jabotinsky turned ardent Zionist pioneer after reporting the horrors of the Kishinev pogrom for a Russian Journal in 1903. His "Revisionist" Zionist idealogy was more hard-line than that of the World Zionist Organisation in that he believed there was to be absolutely no compromise with respect to a Jewish State being established through the full territory of the British Mandate, and any opposition should be confronted with an "Iron Wall" of total Jewish military supremacy. That's not so say, however, that he encouraged unnecessary violence, as he publicly stated his ideal, "We will settle there without expelling one single person from the country and without oppressing anyone."

Jabotinsky considered his greatest contribution to the Zionist cause to be the estabilishment of the "Beitar" Zionist youth movement, which spread the zionist pioneering ideals amonst the jewish youth throughout Europe and successfully mobilised many to the cause. More controvertially, he was responsible for establishing the "Irgun" underground military force in the belief that more military pressure was needed in opposition to the restrictions of British Mandate rule than was being applied by the Israeli Defence Force.

Prior to the later controversial acts of the Irgun, it, together with Beitar played a key role in the "Af-Al-Pi" operation, concieved by Jabotinsky, which successfully smuggled 20,000 European Jews to Israel in 34 ships, before and during the Second World War, thus saving them from almost certain death at the hands of the Nazis. For this and also for his tireless lecturing to Jews all over Europe prophesizing the eventual Holocaust and trying to convince them to go to Israel before the war, Jabontinsky is undoubtadly a hero. His premature death in 1940, can be considered kind, as it prevented him from seeing the horrific extent of his prophecy.

It was only after his death that the acts of the Irgun became more aggressive, many of which were terrorist acts, which makes me wonder whether Jabotinsky would have approved; I guess we'll never know. The list of Irgun leaders after his death reads like a who's-who of familiar street names in Israel including David Raziel, Yaacov Meridor and of course Menachem Begin. The numerous operations of the Irgun, including raids on ammunition stores and the infamous Acre prison break are admirable in their audacity, though less admirable are the King David Hotel bombing in Jerusalem and, shockingly the British Embassy bombing in Rome; yes exported terrorism, uncomfortably familiar, but to more recent times.

As horrible as some of the acts of the Irgun were, in the end, it's hard to deny that they did play a key role in accelerating the British departure from Palestine and the establishment of the Jewish State, which, as a Jew in Israel today leaves me with mixed, rather uncomfortable feelings towards Jabotinsky and his version of Zionism.

Well who says everything has to be black or white, so I suppose i'll just have to live with them!

Monday, June 28, 2010

England Vs Germany

Ever since the end of World War II, England Vs Germany has been more than just a game of football; it means War! The English never miss an opportunity to remind the Gerry, Bosch or Krauts which side eventually came up trumps at the end of the biggest blood-bath in human history.

When I arrived at "Mike's Place" to meet my friend Dan from back in "Blighty", the place was overloaded with rowdy Englishmen alternating between drunken renditions of "God Save the Queen" and "Rule Britannia", during which time the TV screens were warming up the fans with highlights of England's victory over Germany in the 1966 World Cup final, a comforting moment to fall back on every time we lose again.

Once the Germans took an early lead after a typical, basic error in the English defence, English gazes quietly turned towards the three Germans in the crowd who were brave enough to jump up and down cheering. I thought they were gonna be bundled over. When England went two goals down, a few more Germans found their confidence, while the English hurled vulgar abuse at the TV screens. I wasn't the only one getting that familiar feeling of "here we go again!"

But England world cup games are never void of drama, and Upson's headed goal shortly afterwards got the crowd going again, with chants of "Enger-land, Enger-land, Enger-land", and the somewhat more controvertial, "My grandad killed your grandad", a war reference aimed at the German fans of course; I told you it's war.

When Frank Lampard's blatant goal was disallowed, the place was in uproar, with German faces looking slightly shell-shocked and angry English fans chanting, "The referee's a Nazi", and the very unsubtle, "I would rather be a Muslim than a Kraut". Well, an England game wouldn't be an England game without an incident to make the English feel they were robbed (Maradona's hand of God amongst others) and give us something to complain about after we eventually lose.

England's pressure in the second half kept us all hopeful for a comeback, but two German goal-scoring breaks in close succession put an end to that. Well at least the English fans kept their sense of humour with enthusiastic chants of "We're shit, and we know we are" and "We're going home, we're going home".

We might be rubbish at the game we invented, but nobody can deny that we were bloody entertaining.

And now that we've lost, let's not forgot to remind "Gerry" that we won the war anyhow!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Beach


This one is so obvious it normally wouldn't be worth writing about. If you're unemployed in Tel-Aviv it's only natural to hang out at that wonderous place where dirt meets water; the beach. Yep, eating sand, getting stung by Jellyfish, and setting the foundation of skin cancer are definitely my idea of a fun time, and if I want, I can do it all day every day at no financial cost whatsoever; the cost to my health is another matter.

Anyway, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, so I'm gonna show you the pictures you are all waiting to see, even though you might not realise it. I would like to dedicate this blog post to all my female followers (except you mum, look away now please), though I expect that the males amongst you, if you can overcome you envy, will be able to appreciate what a fine figure of a man you are looking at.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The End of the Line

The old Jaffa train station, once a bustling terminal at the end of the Jaffa-Jerusalem railway line, was left to sink into disrepair for many years. Over the past couple of years, however, the Tel-Aviv municipality has decided to give it a new lease of life with a complete make-over of the deteriorating station complex. Well, they've done a magnificent job.

Then & Now:
If by any chance you're thinking of catching a train to Jersulem, you'll end up going nowhere fast, though, frankly this isn't the kind of train station you'll want to leave in a hurry with its souvenir shop, restaurants, cafes and quaint boutiques to keep you occupied; a market area is also under development.

To be honest this isn't the kind of place to come when you're unemployed and don't have any disposible income, even though the area itself is lovely for a little stroll; it's much more appropriate for a romantic date. My saving grace was a newly opened branch of Vaniglia. I didn't need any company or much money for a scoop of Red Grapefruit and Campari sorbet to quench my thirst in the heat of the day.

All I can say is, it's good to know that my Arnona payments are being made good use of.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Shalom Tower

The huge blot on the Tel-Aviv skyline that is the Shalom Tower; yes that functional, grey block at the northern end of Hertzl street which stands where the original Herzliyah Gymnasium once stood, is definitely not a thing of beauty. The expression "it's what's on the inside that counts", however, is certainly applicable to this Tower, as within its walls it houses a couple of rare Tel-Avivian treasures.

Two beautiful, large mosaics adorn the walls of the ground floor. The first by renowned Israeli artist Nahum Gutman illustrates the development of Tel-Aviv in four stages from its foundation through to its establishment as a major Israeli city.

The second, titled "Tel Aviv-Jaffa, The Second Generation" by artist David Sharir, a native Tel-Avivian, depicts the foundation of the combined city through some of the well-known characters that played a part in its development, though you'd have to be very knowledgeable to succeed in identifying them by eye.

Even though this mosaic depicts the Tel Aviv-Yafo of an earlier generation, I found that things haven't really changed that much over the years. I mean, you still have,

Arsim on the beach:

And your frechot:

Vaniglia or Iceberg:

Tight security, always:
Altesachen! Nice:
Gay pride:
Arab builders:
Horses in Jaffa:

Artists:
Beach life; matkot and surfing:


Brezlev guys partying:

And last but not least, unemployed bums just killing time:
Next time you pass by the Shalom Tower, pop in a take a look - you won't regret it.

Monday, June 21, 2010

A Botanical Garden in South Tel-Aviv?

Do you know your Artemisia Monosperma from your Asparagus Paleastinus? Me neither, which is why I decided to pay a visit to the botanical garden of south Tel-Aviv. Admitadly, I had never heard a single soul breath a word about a botanical garden in south Tel-Aviv, and it's location just off Kibutz Galuyot Road doesn't exactly inspire thoughts of a tropical paradise, so this was either going to be a hidden gem or a complete disappointment. Well there was only one way to find out.

When i finally found the entrance to the school complex from which to access the garden, which wasn't exactly marked with bright neon lights, the security guards were suspicious of me as they couldn't grasp why I would even bother to come and visit. They requested to see my ID card and proceeded to ask me questions about where I live. Things weren't looking too promising.

Following the guard's instructions, I followed a path through the complex, past the "zoological garden", which was in fact some sort of old age home for animals, and descended to the entrance of the botanical garden. First impressions weren't good. The phrase "botanical garden" usually inspires thoughts of lush green-houses and meticulously organised plants labelled with their latin names. Sure there were a few signs but the flora were rather disorganised and neglected with a large part of the garden looking more like a desert.

Well a good photographer can find the beauty in anything, right? Even one with a 1.3 megapixel mobile phone camera, so I set about seeking the limited natural wonders of this place, just so my visit wouldn't be a complete waste of time, and honestly, I think I did a pretty good job of it, even if I do say so myself. Trust me these pics make the place look a hell of a lot prettier than it is, at least in summer, and for your education, where possible, I've delved into my new found knowledge of botany to name the various species below. Enjoy!


Cactus Florus Amarillus Maximus:
Sabrus pricklius magnimus:
Aqua Verdus Pollutus:
Florus Amarillus Minimus:
Escargus minisculus:
Cactus demasiadus:
Florus mauvus exquisitus magnanimus: