Ma Koreh Anashim!

From the far east to the middle, from Mount Fuji to our own "Hill of Spring", Avy is back by popular demand, as some of you jokers somehow got the impression that i'm here to amuse you. Well I'm still jobless! D'you think that's funny?

And until such time as some poor soul reluctantly agrees to employ me, I'm on unemployment benefit and on the loose in Tel-Aviv, seeking out creative and interesting alternatives to doing absolutely bugger-all, not including, of course, presenting myself at the unemployment office every Thursday morning; well it's a reason to get out of bed I suppose.

So for the purposes of providing you with some light entertainment my dear, loyal followers, in the coming weeks - maybe even months, who knows - I'm gonna try and milk Tel-Aviv for all it's worth at as little cost as is humanly possible. What? Did you think I'm a Frier or something?
It's gonna be Achla-Sababa and Haval al ha zman!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Seafront

Yesterday I took a stroll up the seafront. Now i've walked along the whole seafront many times, so what could I possibly hope to discover that i haven't before - well I managed to surprise myself once again.

Just south of the Hilton hotel lies Spiegel Park through which I had never actually walked during the daytime. Well this time I decided to take a more thorough look around and found a few things that made it worthwhile.

First and most obviously, there is a stunning view of the Tel-Aviv coast as the park is situated on a small cliff, which also exposes one to a refreshing breeze. It I was homeless, which i may well be soon, I'd definately hang out here.

Secondly, close to edge of the cliff there lies an old an old graveyard, seemingly from the Turkish period. Unfortunatly it is closed to the public and unmarked and most pass by without even noticing it. How come the dead get the best real estate?

Thirdly I was stalked by a massive mosquito - at least, that's what I think it was. I thought it was too dry for them this time of year.


As you advance to the northern side of the Hilton, Spiegel Park becomes Independence Park, another peaceful escape from Tel-Aviv's congested mid-day traffic. Similarly it contains some interesting sculptures, most notably the giant Seagull:

and the Gate of Peace:

as well as a fountain and some abstract sculpture which reminds me of a close-up of a large guitar.

Further up the coast I wondered around the port a little, discovering a boutique called "Moraz" selling interesting food products from the Gallilee - I'm a real sucker for trying out new flavours. Apart from their pomegranate wine, which was outside my price range, I settled for 2 things I needed at home; Gallilean olive oil and mountain honey - delicious!

As I crossed the bridge where the Yarkon meets the mediterranean, with Reading power station dominating the background, I made another interesting discovery which gave me a buzz. Tel-Kudida: the remains of an ancient fort guarding the mouth of the Yarkon against raiders in ancient times, apparently the first of 5 such forts along the yarkon all the way to its source in Rosh-Ha'ayin.

I love how ancient ruins can pop-up anywhere in this country, especially in the least likely of places.

Monday, August 30, 2010

From Rokach and Rock-arse

Shimon Rokach is the founding father of the Neve Tzedek neighbourhood in Tel-Aviv. Having been sent from Jerusalem to work for the family business in Jaffa by his father, Shimon decided to set up the first Jewish neighbourhood beyond Jaffa's walls in 1887, just as had occured with the founding of Yemin Moshe outside of Jerusalem's walls sometime earlier. Rokach's house was the first of 10 houses built as part of this new Jewish settlement outside of Jaffa. Even though the founding of Tel-Aviv as the first Jewish city is considered by many to have taken place in 1909 with the establishment of "Ahuzat Bayit", it can be strongly argued that it all began 22 years earlier in Neve Tzedek, where indeed the first town hall was set up in Rokach's house itself. The new neighbourhood, known as "Little Paris" attracted many intellectuals such as the author Shay Agnon and the artist Nahum Gutman. Rokach's contributions to the development of the city were many and continued through his son Israel who served as Mayor of Tel-Aviv for 17 years between 1936 and 1953.

After the neighbourhood fell into temporary decline during the 60s and 70s, in 1983 Rokach's granddaughter and artist, Leah Majaro-Mintz, decided to invest her money into the restoration of the decaying building in order to return it to its former glory, which she succeeding in doing worderfully well. In fact, today, the house is pretty much an art gallery, teeming with sculptures of naked females; i mean, there seems to be an arse or pair of breasts staring at you from every corner of the building - it's like an Alfred Hitchcock thriller or something. This women clearly has some sort of unhealthy obsession with the female form. Her grandfather would probably turn in his grave!

Anyway, in Rokach House I guess I've filled in another piece of the Tel-Aviv puzzle. It's definately bootylicious.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

A Living Legend

Last week my gran turned 94! If you just consider that for a moment, it's quite extraordinary. Born during the first world war, you can say that the old girl has lived through a few things, and today, still with a pretty clear mind she can comfortably maintain a conversation with me in broken hebrew. Buying a gift for a 94 year old is limited, since, obviously the senses are not as acute as they once were, so I opted for a bunch of roses so that gran can at least smell their fragrance if not see them very well. My rendition of the birthday cards from my mum and my sister written in Rumanian just made her chuckle, but it was good enough for her to understand and to correct my pronunciation.

All that's left to say is happy birthday Safta.
Mazal Tov!
Until 120!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Colony

Throughout history this land has attracted it's fair share of religious nutters of various color, creed and religious tendency, all eager to do whatever it takes to guarentee their place in heaven and buy their one way ticket to eternal life - a noble cause indeed. Well yesterday I discovered that i didn't need to stray far from home in order to find evidence of the lengths these fanatics would go to in order to realise their holy cause.

There's a plaque at the southern end of the Tel-Aviv promenade which marks the spot where a group of American Christians from the "Church of the Messiah" landed in September 1866, boats laden with the wood and plaster from which they would build their new homes in the Holy Land. Having come across this plaque some time ago, I had tried and failed to locate the "American Colony" in Jaffa and started to doubt whether it was still in existence. Yesterday I gave it another shot, this time approaching from the direction of Florentin rather than the Jaffa side, and in doing so, stumbled upon another little historical treasure of Tel Aviv-Yafo.

George Adams was the spiritual leader of this rabble of bible-bashing yankees, who made it their mission to prepare the Holy Land for the return of the Jews and the second coming of Jesus - well they would have been well pleased with my arrival three years ago. Unfortunately for them their mission failed within a year, George being exposed as some sort of fraud apparently, and their homes were bought out by another wave of Messianic nut-jobs called the Templars, this time from Germany - I don't know which is worse! Their cause was somewhat less ambitious: just to prepare the land for the return of Jesus, but not to encourage the return of the Jews - that's probably why their mission was somewhat longer lasting. Thus the "American Colony" became the "German Colony"; a familiar story throughout the land in fact.

One of the Templars purchases was "Beit Emmanuel" an impressive looking building which became Templar headquarters. Throughout its history Beit Emmanual functioned in many capacities (mostly Christianity related of course) including as a hotel, hospital, girls' school, British army HQ, police HQ and now as a guest house. Interestingly, one of its most famous owners (1878) was a Russian named Baron Plato Von Ustinov, who is in fact that grandfather of the late hollywood actor Peter Ustinov (of Hercule Poirot fame). It was Ustinov's rennovations which gave the building it's current palacial design and in its heyday, this building was the focal point of the whole city of Jaffa, with exotic gardens visited specially from far and wide. Today, the colony has inspired the current development of "The Village", a complex of restaurants and bars and no doubt the next hot nightspot in Tel Aviv-Yafo. Well then, we can soon say that the Christian colony will finally have served it's true purpose; for the Jews to get pissed and have fun, right? Good tactic, as maybe it'll encourage more of us to come here.

Like many, I can't really relate to the fanciful ideas of these religious fanatics, but they certainly added and still add a little extra spice to this multicultural, multiethnic mix we call Israel, Palestine or the Holy Land. And let's face it: without such loonies, who would we have to take the piss out of? Go check it out!


Monday, August 9, 2010

Still on Benefit

My friends.

After a brief blogging interlude for employment related activities, I remain on benefit. Apparently going through a five stage interview process with good references (thanks Shirley) doesn't necessarily land you a job. I seem to be the only one I know that manages to pull off such tricks; it isn't the first time it's happened to me.

Anyway, the outcome being that I retain my original status and can return to my more relaxed, less profitable way of existance until such time as a further opportunity pops up. Luckily I still have a few items left on my list of things to do while unemployed in Tel-Aviv; maybe that's why I didn't get the job; the timing just isn't right. "A time to work and a time to rest"! Isn't that what's written in Ecclesiasties or did I just make that up?

Anyway, as usual I'll be pleased to share with you any shananigans that I get up to during my extended sabbatical.

Yours Faithfully,
Avy (still) on benefit.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Reuven Rubin

Israeli art is not a subject I'm particularly familiar with. I would struggle to name more than a couple of famous names from this field, so this morning, as a first venture into the Israeli art world I payed a visit to Reuven Rubin House, just a couple of doors down from Bialik's.

The first pleasing fact I learned about Rubin was, that he was Romanian, like my mum, even though this doesn't really mean anything and is just an instinctive, irrational reaction; I mean, it's not like we're related.
The second pleasing fact I learnt about my Romanian half-brother is that he painted these paintings himself, he didn't steal them, honest; there are photos and films to prove it; that is relief to know.
The third interesting thing to learn about Rubin is he's a Romanian who looked a little middle-eastern in his youth, especially in the self-portrait below; well that's OK, my dad's Iraqi - maybe we are related after all.

Ancestral nonsenses aside, Rubin's painting capture the early day's of Israel, when the country was more or less just a pile of sand. His early paintings from the 1920s often show characters holding flowers in front of a desert backdrop, reflecting the dream of making the desert blossom. His paintings often depict familiar Israeli themes including religion, zionism, multiculturalism and the meeting of east and west, as well as beautiful Israeli scenary, always in vibrant color; a feast for the eyes!
Here are a few of his paintings that particularly caught me eye for different reasons.

1) This Jaffa scene somewhat reminds me of my current lifestyle except without donkeys and goats.

2) This painting is called something like "Jew with a red beard". I find it impressive in its straight-forwardness. Also, I too have a reddish beard, so this is what i might look like religious!

3) This one called "Rakafot" proves he is Romanian after all; didn't he know it's illegal to pick flowers in Israel; wait till the authorities hear about this!

4) "The first seder in Jerusalem" depicts early mutiethnic, multicultural Israel at Pesach, including, strangely, Elijah the prophet on the left dressed as Jesus of course. So he turned up for once but did he have to come in fancy dress? It's Pesach no Purim!

Let's just say when I had finished, I wanted to see more.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Beit Ha'ir - The old town hall

Once upon a time beauty came before function. Such is the case with Tel-Aviv's old Town Hall, a beatifully unique building in it's style which couldn't be more of a contrast to the dent on the Tel-Avivian skyline that is the new, ugly block of a town hall.

From this building, back in the glory days of the "White City", Meir Dizengoff, the first mayor of Tel-Aviv ran the show. Dizengoff served as the mayor of Tel-Aviv twice, from 1921-1925, and again from 1928 until his death in 1936. Prior to and in between his tenures, the man can be considered a zionist entrepreneur, whose activites included settling up a glass factory, establishing the Geulah company for purchasing land in Palestine, establishing the Meir Dizengoff & Co. import/export shipping committee, heading the Zionist Executive Urban Settlement Department, and establishing the Company for the Development of Tel-Aviv - the list goes on. He was even awarded the title of "Commander of the British Empire" for his contributions under British Mandate rule. It's no wonder he was considered the "King of Tel-Aviv" and the grand office he served from was indeed fit for a king.

Meir the mayor aside, the old town hall is the place to come if you want to get a feel for Tel-Aviv in its pioneering heyday through it's extensive exhibition of family photos showing the different areas of the city and the landmarks that have been and gone.

Here are a few Tel-Avivian oddities that stood out for me:

1) There used to be a casino on the beach. Now, I believe, the closest legal casino is floating out in the Mediterranian somewhere.


2) Once all the builders were Jewish pioneers. Now mostly arabs or imports from afar.


3) Yes, it used to snow it Tel-Aviv! Once you didn't need to go to Jerusalem or climb Hermon to see the white stuff.


4) Dizengoff square used to look good in all it's Bauhaus glory.


5) Unbelievably, there used to be a zoo right in the middle of Tel-Aviv near what's now Rabin Square. How Bizarre!

Well I don't know much about local politics or how good or bad a job the town hall is doing, but watching the continued evolution of Tel-Aviv is fascinating, more for better than worse from what i see, and I think Dizengoff, on the whole, would have been pleased with the results. Watch this space.